Dancing And Dating Equal to Problems?

One thing that always seems to wake opinions is dancing and dating. Many of my female non-dancer friends say that their boyfriends most probably might not like them to dance couple dances, and use that as a final argument for why they can’t even try couple dancing. My answer for that is that I would never even date someone who would forbid me dancing! (My male non-dancer friends' argument is then again that dancing is too gay - how mature of them...)

My girl friends might have a glimpse of truth in their thinking though. Since I have been single most of the time I’ve been dancing, dancing has been kind of a boyfriend for me. You see, closeness is something that I need regularly or otherwise I’ll get anxious and restless, and this need is easy to satisfy simply by going social dancing. Just to make clear, by closeness I mean only physical contact with someone without any romantic or sexual connotations. Sure, there are other ways to fill the need, but dancing is a really easy one, I’ve found. However, even if dancing as a boyfriend can fill up the need for closeness, it can’t anywhere near replace a real one. I wouldn’t even talk about replacing, actually its a really bad word to use in this context. The boyfriends most likely weren't worried about replacement anyway, but the actual closeness.

What comes to dancers then, I’ve noticed that some of them act interestingly when they start dating someone. Some try to hide the whole thing as like they were thinking that other dancers wouldn’t dance with them as they used if they found out s/he wasn’t single anymore. The other opposite is that the dating dancer completely change the way s/he dances. Some might change the way they dance only when their new partner is around. Some might just disappear from the social dancing scene. Excuse me, but why would I be interested of someone's marital status in the dance floor? What interests me is the moment of dance.

Most part of me don’t really understand why you would have to somehow change your way of dancing when dating. I wouldn’t change my behavior towards my friends either, for example. Being physically close to someone is just part of couple dancing, and that’s all. It’s like... kissing as part of acting in a romantic play: there’s no other meaning to that “fake” kiss, even a passionate one. The original meaning of the kiss is gone. Sure, there are limits to the closeness in dancing and yes, there can be only a fine line between what is appropriate and what is not, and maybe that is what’s making the dating dancers confused. How close can I dance? Is it okay to have a passionate dance with someone else? Am I allowed to or should I get jealous when seeing my partner in a really close and passionate dance with someone else? It must be even more confusing for non-dancers. I remember feeling quite disconcerted when I stated to dance some closer-contact dances. I guess that for majority of people a physical contact could mean some sort of an interest from or towards to the other party.

The ones who know me also know that I like dancing close. The ones who know me even better know that for me the closeness is just part of the dancing. I have never asked anyone to dance with me or gone to a dance party with a hidden agenda. I find it really tacky if someone is trying to hit on me in the dance floor. Please guys, that is not the right place at all! Besides, even if you tried I wouldn't most probably realize you doing that. I'm not saying that flirting should be prohibited in the dance floor, no way, that can also be part of the dance. But really, what happens in the dance floor stays in the dance floor. And just for the record, closeness in the dance floor has it's limits too.

Another related topic is that should a dancer date only a dancer or would it be wiser to take a non-dancer instead. Many seem to be in the standpoint that only a dancer can understand the similar passion of the other. Dancing changes you and it changes your life. Maybe only a dancer can understand how much dancing can really matter to you? Many, then again, say that only a fool would interfere with someone from the same dancing circles. Surely, the circles are small - too small oftentimes - and small circles means difficulties, awkward situations and uncomfortable feelings if everything doesn't work out as planned. But hey, isn't a perfect couple, in and outside the dance floor, everybody's dream?

Whatever the case might be, one thing is for sure: no-one stops me from dancing!